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The “Majestic Plural” form invoked by sovereigns and single founder startups. The theory is that a royal we includes both the king and the god he speaks for, or in the entrepreneurs case, a never ending supply of proficient human resource, but if I'm letting y’all behind the velvet curtain my royal we is me and my feminine phobia of being singularly culpable.
May 17, 2023

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Top Recs from @elena-velez

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I don’t even have one of these things and they're only like a hundred dollars but I never buy one because sometimes you just need something to perennially look forward to. I can’t bear to shatter the illusion that the capable and unencumbered professional woman I could be by owning a mid-sized structured rolling bag might be a foundationless reverie. But y’all should get one these shits, they look mad practical! I pitched a very left handed collab, and they gave *us* a very gentle swerve but offered a consolation coupon code which is LOVE10 and that’s on mutual aid, sweaties.
May 17, 2023
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As a very important celebrity with great tits and perfect politics, I’m so charmed when people take the time to share their recognition of my worth publicly. Not to keep simping for Daddy Google (Larry baby hit my line, I miss you), but my impeccable press is the most enduring and meaningful monument to the fabulous, offensively wealthy, and very glamorous life I’ve built for myself. Not my kids.
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If I didn't get a calendar invite I’m not coming and the conversation never happened. I’m a virgo aka a Godless Girlboss™️ and even make my BD share my schedule. I even prototyped my dream app and realized it already existed in Jamboard. In all, I think compartmentalisation really affirms my copes and I also love how Google drive & Google analytics are such a familiar yet dangerous experience because if you tinker around too much you might sink the whole operation - a certain bureaucratic appel du vide, if you will.
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