I always eat a teaspoon of plain Greek yogurt
As I finish dishing out my desired amount
the spoon always has some yogurt stuck on it
I don't want to dirty my hands scraping it off
or another utensil to wash
so i put it in my mouth
no honey to sweeten the pot
no cinnamon for warmth
the taste always sits too heavy
too acrid, too sour
it makes me nauseous
but i do it anyway, when i could just wash it away
because i believe, secretly,
that i deserve to suffer if just a little bit if i am to have something good