Work on yourself. Figure out your own likes and dislikes. Date yourself with such vigor, as if you were dating a new lover. That coupled with time passing ought to work wonders.
Mar 15, 2024
Related Recs
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Feels reallllllllly tempting following a romantic fallout to "get back out there" for several reasons: to prove (to yourself?) that you are desirable, to fill a void left by ex partner, to see if things feel different with other people, to try to comfort yourself with the knowledge that not everyone is as shitty as the last person u dated. (sidenote: spend time with the question of what it fulfills for you)
This is rarely ever the right move. At least in my experience. I've literally caused myself psychic damage by jumping back in too fast lol. As cliche as it is, the best advice I have is to spend time (LIKE, TIMEEEEE. months) "dating yourself." You will gain confidence, learn more about yourself + have space from the event that leaves you feeling like dating is so difficult right now. Time really does heal all wounds...but jumping right back into dating is like picking a scab.
Fill up your cup in other ways in the meantime. Eventually, it will feel more natural/comfortable for you to ease back into dating - instead of trying to cram yourself into it and thinking that there's something wrong with you/you've sustained permanent damage because it's difficult. Your wounds won't be as fresh and you'll have a clearer picture of what you can/can't tolerate in a romantic relationship. It's hard! But u can do it! <3
Apr 1, 2024
❤️
find out how you feel cared for and loved then start doing it for yourself. I luv pampering myself and new experiences
my fave ways; taking myself to a movie (nitehawk is my fave for movie and food and maybe a lil drink), solo dining at your favorite spots or somewhere you’re dying to try, library dates, cafe dates, spa days (buy a day pass just to sauna and relax), dedicate an evening each week to a ritual just for yourself- this will strengthen feeling comfortable alone, finding new confidence to get out of your head plus you genuinely start missing your independence and how WELL you know yourself- having a weekly mandatory ritual made this sm easier and less awkward
Feb 26, 2024
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others have said the same but trulyyyy I had no sense of self for years because I based my worth on my partner ... so when we ended I felt like I had nothing.. i started therapy asap and truly worked on myself. meditation helped too! ☻ I had to befriend myself and get back to who I was because ultimately all we have is ourselves and to fall in love with yourself is so important! we have so much time to find another love, until then be your own <3 I know its easier said than done but there will be a time where you wont think of them at all and it wont matter like it does now. you'll receive the love you truly deserve in time... until then remember your worth!!!🤍😇🫶🏻
Jun 10, 2025
Top Recs from @ener
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(Not literally.)
I’m of the belief that platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones. Build a community of folks who meet you where you are and with whom you feel safe and vice versa!
In a perfect world they see all versions of you from rock bottom to ascending, not unlike the intimacy usually reserved for a lover. Fuck that heteronormative bullshit. Do that with your friends. They will give you grace and hold you accountable for foolishness. If you don’t have people like this, go out and make them.
This late night shower thought brought to you by a conversation with a cishet male Uber driver who really needs to love himself more.
Mar 4, 2024
Join the A24 fan club (appropriately named AAA24) because they occasionally hook you up with free tickets to screenings, invitations to special events, will be the first to greet you happy birthday and send a gift of your choice, and you get quarterly zines!
The welcome kit comes with a members pin and the latest zine.
(No I do not work for them, I just think it’s one of the coolest fan clubs I’ve ever joined)
Apr 4, 2024
🗽
It was a big risk, but I was just laid off from a job I hated and had a fresh breakup on top of that. I had decent prospects as far as potential jobs go, but I wanted to stay in “the city” and I felt like I hit a ceiling in San Francisco. Plus, I’d lived there nearly my entire life. Thus, I had a suspicion that if I couldn’t be happy in New York City, then I wouldn't be happy anywhere.
That was a little over six years ago now and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. A LOT has happened here, and I’ve dealt with a ton of grief, but man, I love it here. I have a great job, made some real friends and community, and am living outwardly as my truest self.
I’m sure I could’ve had this in SF if I tried, and I know that this lifestyle will change inevitably, but I love living in a place with an energy that emanates throughout the city.
Mar 6, 2024