I'm reading blood meridian. Its sad and hard to read and I'm not sure I fully understand it. But i can't stop thinking about it and I keep wanting to pick it up. I'm hoping there's some second-hand spirituality and insight im gaining by fumbling through the pages. If not, the ride alone has been fulfilling in its own way. Maybe the things you don't understand are the only things worth thinking about. Or maybe thats just what an idiot like me tells himself.