What a beautiful phrase. The joyful abandonment of inhibition, of self-regulation. Iām the sheep & the shepherd. I lay down my shears & let the woolly overcoat overgrow, soft & warm; slow, sweet suffocation. So much of life is the imposition of strict mandates on the self. One must be rigorous, one must be vigilant, one must never tire. Man am I tired. Tomorrow Iāll awaken bleary eyed & aching. Iāll promise myself over my roommateās canned cold brew drink that āthis is itā. I will once again conduct a coup and install a tyrannical regime of self improvement. But tonight, my belly is fat with cheeseburger & strawberry milkshake, my eyes are swimming in blue light. This is how I sleep soundly.
Sometimes when I drive at night & the road is empty, I turn the headlights off. Itās unsustainable to drive like that foreverā if I did that Iād crash. But man, those few moments when the headlights are off & Iām hurtling into the dark. Thatās what driving is all about.