First… may the gods bless you and guide you with light through this journey. Sending love And prayers my dearest Nebraska friend. You were born with purpose to teach the universe a new perspective and now is your chance to turn over every card in the deck, no fucks given. i grew up doing graffiti, I use graffiti as a way to just make sure I leave a mark. Now I call upon you to graffiti the world. With laughs and craziness and tears and silliness and whatever other things you have stored in the tank. Let loose and let ur soul splatter and stain anything u can reach. Nothing can kill a good story, make sure all your loved ones have one to tell. Grab ur nuts, smoke a cig, and stick ur middle finger to the sun, Nebraska to infinity.
Jul 28, 2024

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Not that anyone will care, but to understand me you have to understand this: I was raised by Christian Protestant fundamentalists, the youngest of 4 by 10 years. Although I resent the church and the theology I desperately tried to make myself believe, I am grateful for their teachings of serving and loving others, even if they contradicted themselves when they told me to fear the evil nature of humanity. I was named after my grandma, who lived with me for 11 years of my childhood and remained ever trusting and kind as she fell victim to dementia. By the time I was 8 my parents seemed to have tired from raising 4 kids and intensively caring for a 90 year old woman, and I was free to bike miles across town to the library unsupervised, and patch myself up when I fell and bled, and lock myself in my room to read every spare hour of the day. I would read while I ate breakfast, I would read while brushing my teeth, I would read and I wouldn’t hear it if someone called my name. I discovered the internet soon after and unfortunately the curiosities it offered won out over literature. When the internet taught me I wouldn’t live forever in heaven under the tree of life with Teddy Roosevelt and my grandpa, I was on my own to process and panic and pretend to pray. My family came from Norway, across Canada, down to Northern Idaho to work in the lumber yards, and finally to Oregon when starvation wages hit the shop teachers. My mom grew up on elk tongue sandwiches and I was never allowed to leave a plate full. I always struggled with friendships, not because people didn’t like me but because I have a tendency for isolating myself. The people I love most tend to be strange and upfront and vulnerable. And I do love my family, but more than anything I want to be independent and meet many strange and upfront people who will lead me to adventure. I am almost 20 and I am an artist. I have no tattoos and I am reckoning with my potential.
Feb 28, 2025
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been feeling v compelled lately to practice self-respect in the form of dedicating time and energy into honing my creative skills despite the loathsome grind of my 8 - 5 job. i spent a lot of time and money and emotional energy to get the job i have now and i don't hate what i do but i do know that there's more to all of this beautiful life than playing it safe and getting sucked into a monotonous cycle. loving and respecting myself means devoting myself to my higher aspirations. deep down i know my soul glows brightest when i create and i'm seen thru that work. i'm on a ferocious pursuit to brighten that glow every day and i hope you are too if you feel that same impulse.
Feb 13, 2024
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Broke my 1 cig a night rule bc I needed to put coal in the furnace to finish this creative project. If I don’t give this my full soul and if I don’t finish on time, letting my collaborator down, I wouldn’t forgive myself. The semi-detached ironic whimsy is failing me tonight. It was serving me so well, I think. I have no whimsy or snarky observations. I just want to scream at the sky. The world is so unjust it makes my stomach tight and empty. I’m gonna be a better me and live as well as I can and show kindness to the morally corrupt and lying, because I don’t want to fight and the high horse is close enough to winning a fight. I’ll find something more generous tomorrow. Or if not generous, practical. I hope the most vulnerable people on this planet have a more consistent strength than I do. I can afford to not know. I like this app. It makes me feel like I can express this. Lots of unique perspectives and interests and strains of kindness here. I’ll appreciate that tonight. I’m tired of the cold. Metaphorical and physical, it is freezing outside. I want to laugh from somewhere deep within me while the sun is warm and I’m eating grilled octopus. Maybe I’ll be pithy again tomorrow
Feb 20, 2025

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