Related Recs

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Go Big or go home

1. Could just delete all together. I didn’t have any social media for a few years and am seriously considering doing it again. 2. Have someone else set the password for your time limit (if you’re using an iPhone) so you can’t just type it in when you want to. 3. Only use apps on a computer. It really is freeing to not be plugged in. You’ll feel more aware of life and yourself. It’s fun!!

@mossyelfie

Jun 1, 2024

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Dumbing down your smart phone

i have been on a journey to untangle my tasks from my iPhone. i'd be out in the world someplace, pull out my phone for something as menial as checking the time, or as well intentioned as capturing the moment in a pic, and immediately get sucked into texts and instagram™️ and all the virtual things happening in this tiny lil demon light box. the goal: pull my phone out of my bag ONLY for phone things. that's texting, calling, and apps that can't be replaced the solutions so far: 🕰️ i started with a watch (shoutout Casio) and i wear it every day. once I broke the habit of checking my phone for the time, I felt legitimately freed from something Major 📷 I bought a small digital camera to leave in my bag. the pics look better and I don’t get distracted by the virtual world when I'm trying to capture something in the now 📚 I bought a kindle. It fits in my jacket pocket (literally) and gives me something to do when I'm on the train or waiting for an appointment that isn't scrolling I just realized so much of the time I spent on my phone was not intentional. It was a thing I was doing in between Other intentional moments. my screen time is still several hours a day (don’t get me wrong) but I think my brain has healed at least 3%. welcoming other ideas as well💡

@carbo

Sep 24, 2024

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TLDR: DND, PUTTING IT AWAY IN A DRAWER, DELETE APPS, INDULGING IN BOREDOM

first, i think it’s important that your phone is never the first thing you dive into when you wake up and it should not be the last thing you see before you go to sleep. set aside at least 30min-1hr when you wake up/before you go to bed without any screen time. you can read, do morning exercise, go for a walk, theres a lot you can do that would be better than being on your phone. i think it’s also really helpful to turn off all notifications and turn dnd on at all times. might be overdoing it, but any little bit helps. i’ve deleted any and all apps i don’t deem ABSOLUTELY necessary to be on my phone. social media apps esp, if you have a computer just log in using that whenever youre home and wanna check or post something. fourth and maybe most importantly, be okay with the idea of being bored without your phone! explore the idea of going out without it, just raw dogging life.

@jeannedielman

6d ago

Top Recs from @nadiyaelyse

❤️

You are only mundane to yourself because you are so familiar— to everyone else you are new

Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re feeling that way— that’s really crummy, and I’m sure that once you feel that way everything feels like confirmation of being unspecial. But in a very very real way, you might be bored with yourself because you know yourself so well— other people don’t know you. You could walk into a bar or a cafe or an event and you would be new to at least one person there. If you feel like you aren’t interesting conversationally, are you a good listener? In a very honest way, the people I’ve found hottest and most intriguing are always good listeners, and people who are quiet and incisive. It’s okay if you don’t talk on and on; a lot of “interesting” people are just filling space with noise. Noise is always briefly exciting or interesting, but that doesn’t mean it has substance or adds value. Trust me on this, I’m a performer and frankly so many nights I’m just making noise. So first piece of advice is, approach yourself as if you were a stranger— look at everything about you like you’ve never ever seen it before, and start to notice what you like. Then build on those things. Like, it’s okay if you hate your clothes, but do you have one jacket/shirt/earring that you love? Wear that so much, and slowly look out for pieces that make you feel like the thing you love— it’s okay if it takes time, the outfits that make me feel dynamic are all cobbled together from stuff I found over years. Then look at other people, what do you find interesting about them? I am a knockoff of every woman I ever thought was cool— my summer camp counselor, my gender studies TA from my first year of college, my mom, and literally everyone else. That’s okay though, mimicking what you like is a way of developing your taste, and you will put yourself together in a way that’s a little different and totally your own. It’s okay if it takes time— sometimes we have seasons where we don’t like ourselves a ton, but they do pass, and who you will be in a year is a brand new person— you haven’t met them yet, and you might love them. Tiny practical advice? Go for walks; it’s good for your body, it releases endorphins, and it gives you a chance to people watch/observe nature. Read something small; it can be a single poem, or an essay, or a children’s book— I love Howl’s Moving Castle and if I’m feeling stuck in a rut I read that, even though it’s a children’s book. If reading isn’t your thing watch a movie or a TV episode, but whatever you consume, watch it and take notes, like you‘re a secret critic— note what you liked, whether it’s costumes or language or the vibe, and what you didn’t, and then you can find more things like it— that’s how you develop your own taste, and it’s a good way to develop language around art and media. All critics and essayists and everyone whose job is to write interestingly about art started with shit they liked in middle school, and built on that to find their own language— you can do that too. Sorry for the hugely long post, but I promise that you are more interesting than you give yourself credit for, and there are people in the world who will see that.

@nadiyaelyse

Feb 19, 2024

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transparency is not the same as intimacy

This was really impactful for me; the analogy is, your life/your heart is a room (or an apartment, a space, etc) and relationships are all about inviting people into that room. Intimacy is letting them into the room and knowing that they might touch stuff, move furniture around, or change the way you’ve laid the room out. Transparency is letting people see the room, but keeping a glass between them and the space— they can see, but not touch. I think relationally we all have impulses toward transparency instead of intimacy, and it’s easy to say “I let you look at my room, that was intimacy,” while maintaining the glass that separates people from the room. Be intimate! Let people pick up the tchotchkes in your heart and move the furniture.

@nadiyaelyse

May 28, 2024

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Public library

The wifi is free, you don’t need to pay for a pastry or a coffee to use the space— they’re quiet, they often have workdesks and comfortable chairs, and using them supports their own funding requirements.

@nadiyaelyse

Aug 14, 2024