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i have gotten a new fridge and a new stove from two different landlords this way - completely free of charge!! asking as an action opens the door for new connections and perspectives and is a much better alternative to feeling like you have to somehow assert your will on others to make your way through the world safely or successfully. it also is true that people love to share and talk about themselves, so asking is a great way to start out an interaction.
this sentiment is predicated upon the belief that people are good and want to help ! and that we can accomplish more together.
just thinking about this bc i called this antique shop and asked about an item i unfortunately left behind </3 but the person on the phone was more than happy to help, and my day is improved because 1) i tried and 2) i had a positive conversation with another person.
prescribing this as the cure to social anxiety for myself
Aug 10, 2024
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asking questions encourages connection between people (even if itâs short)!! like asking a barista what they like to drink, or asking the marine educator by the tide pools about the fish in there, or asking someone in a wait line what they do for work. obviously respect peopleâs time and space, but going out of my way to ask questions has lead to positive outcomes!
Not only do you connect with people, but you might learn something or meet someone cool :)
Jun 12, 2025
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I find that random âwould you ratherâ type questions do wonders. Or just something a little off the wall. It Helps really break the ice, it opens up for a longer debate/ discussion, itâs so much more fun than typical, and it can give that person an impression of you being far more sociable than you are.
May 27, 2025
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even if the answer is no, the answer mightâve been yes and it doesnât hurt to ask every once in a while if you can do something or have something. i feel like as people, we donât ask others for anything because weâre scared of rejection and the word no. but the best way to get over that fear is to hear it more
May 19, 2025
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chicago hang success !! it was so lovely to meet everyone today <3 more plans incoming soon đĽmossyelfiejoe_m_millerbashfulchicken
Aug 18, 2024
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my sister just had a baby and i am considering the type of aunt?/guncle ? (the designation becomes tricky w gender lol) i may be. but ultimately the archetype of âcool auntââmysterious, distant-yet-warm, uninvolved in family dramas, arrives at family gatherings wearing strange, somehow stylish clothes, bearing copious gifts and floating on an air of urban lifeâresonates most soundly with me
this has also led me to reflect on how my momâs sister played such a key role in my  youth by revealing to me a foundational truth that this is not all that there is! âtwas a very hopeful message to me, a miserable child/teen unsuited to christian suburban life, forced to procure my wardrobe primarily from the womenâs section at the department store because that is what my mother deemed reasonable (and kohlâs cash)Â
some of the notable moments my aunt bestowed upon my adolescence include:
⢠taking me to see moonrise kingdom at the indie art deco theater in a nearby mountain townÂ
⢠driving me to philly for shows at tla even though she had no idea who the artists were and would stand in the back; also paying for all my meals and whims on our south street jaunts
⢠curating a collection of signed books from author visits at her local library, which sheâd always drop off nonchalantly as gifts (charles santore picture books, lemony snicket !)Â
⢠signing me up for 5ks and carting me along to her races
⢠explaining to me what a âlesbianâ is and taking me to meet said lesbians in a dimly lit new york restaurant where i tried alligator sausage and felt so urbaneÂ
⢠general trips to ny for broadway shows and museums Â
⢠introducing me to rummikub
⢠letting me roam free at community music festivals from late afternoon til dusk, where iâd encounter children from different counties, get in harmless trouble and infuse my life with the intrigue of those unknown to me but in those brief momentsÂ
Sep 25, 2024
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these landed all at once and iâm feeling tapped into a wellspring of compassion and gratitude
Dec 6, 2024