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there’s something about dedicating a piece of your heart & imagination to a person, often, for me, with zero reciprocation. the desire to love & be loved growing stronger everyday, dreams flooded with their smile, voice. i like to think i’m happy with the made-up scenarios & longing looks, or maybe i’m just a coward.
Dec 14, 2024

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It’s nice! The cool feeling of seeing them and your heart fluttering a little
Dec 14, 2024

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I get crushes on people easy. I sort of imagine a life with someone only after thinking about them a couple times. right now I have about four crushes, but I think it’s my want of a relationship, so so bad. Equally I do not admit feelings for people. I would rather encourage someone to get in a relationship with someone else than admit my feelings, it’s like tending to an overgrown garden.
Jan 24, 2025
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The yearning, the delusion of it all
Apr 16, 2024
i enjoy having a crush. it's an incredible amount of masochistic suffering that I put myself through, but oh my goodness is it fun. there's this tutor of mine who looks like if clark kent was written by marguerite duras and i want to take a bite of him, just sink my teeth into him. i'm so obsessed with how beautiful this man is and i love the energy that gives him. shallow as this might sound, but adonis types like him just tickle my fancy in the best way possible.

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that’s it. as society strays further from physical connection & closeness, i experience sheer joy simply walking alongside strangers. it’s easier to feel a sense of belonging when you are shoulder to shoulder, not bumper to bumper.
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life would be so boring without the queer community let’s admit it.
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when people used to say “you should journal!” i would be like yeah, yeah whatever. it’s funny looking back on it, because now whenever i get a single thought in my head, i have to write it down. it can be difficult for me to identify my emotions, but seeing bits of my thoughts, written and scattered about, allows me to solve the puzzle piece that is my complex (& crazy) mind. 🪐
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