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every ig update reminds me of how far i am from the life i was promised. i was supposed to be working at buzzfeed making six figures writing listicles wearing those studded steve madden pumps and posting only squares with the rio dijanero filter.
every ig update is like a new gunshot to my already bleeding body. theyāre useless and unwanted. idgaf about turning my feed to rectangles. show me who unfollowed me. next update is gonna be a tab with two buttons: one sucks your dick and the other shoots you in the face except you donāt know which one is which. honestly iād rather have that instead of the rectangles. Modernity I Rebuke You.
Jan 17, 2025
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i feel like atp everyone has acknowledged that instagram has gone to shit. maybe we should just collectively uninstall
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IG is so fucking boring these days. I've had enough. I post intimate and weirdly overthetop "poems" of sorts about the nitty gritty details of my life. I lose followers with every post and that gives me such a rush. Shake up that algorithm and let me know what's REALLY going on in your life!
Jan 30, 2024
āCOMPARISON IS THE THIEF OF JOYā
āDISCARD ANYTHING THAT DOESNāT SPARK JOY.ā
You donāt need to have these people in your life. Unless they make you laugh or give you wisdom, their content has no value to you. I followed so many people because of their expensive interesting clothing, aesthetic pictures of places Iām not going to go to, and features of their appearance that I donāt have. If not for social media, their life would not be connected to mine at all! Your life is fine, as is theirs, social media isnāt real. I havenāt unfollowed all of them yetā¦maybe some day. Clicking that unfollow button feels pretty freeing. Iām going to be a careful mindful brainy netizen in this life.
So goodbye niche internet micro-celebrities, parting is such sweet sorrow.
Mar 3, 2024
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social media makes life feel so insular and sad and hopeless and meaningless we really have endless opportunity at our fingertips and choose to scroll scroll scroll IVE HAD ENOUGH iāve had enough iāve had enough!!!! im so addicted to simple pleasures and gratification and i just sit around and wallow. everyone is disconnected and nothing is real and i think my soul has been torn into a million little pieces
Apr 9, 2025
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i feel like an 80s mobster. or a 19th century bachelor with an unfortunate attraction to bohemia. someone who wouldāve been called a rake in those days bc i was dancing with married women and gambling and learning french instead of carrying on the bloodline or courting duchesses.
Feb 9, 2024
i fell up the escalator at the union square station and ended up with this bruise on my thigh that quite literally spells out HI. if it is who i hope it is then thats cool. if its not then thats also ok too because this is the coolest shit ever. i feel like that guy in glee when he found the grilled cheesus. hereās the bruise with the photo edited for clarity i promise im not unwell just turn up your brightness. let me think about the dead people i know whose birthdays could be coming up.
Feb 6, 2024
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stella in sips when iām in love and happy about it. tequila in full gulps when im in love and sad about it. rum and coke when im in love and angry about it. twisted teas when im in love and trying to forget about it. sapporo when im in love and ready to be over it. vodka and club mixers when im in love and afraid of it. white wine when im in love and too proud to admit it. juneshine when im in love and ready to be poetic about it. soju for when it comes creeping back in. warm beers once itās crept back in. unspecified beer pong potions when iām still trying to figure out how i feel about it. i wrote this on the toilet while dressed like a 2010s scene kid. drinking smirnoff ice and trying to figure out how i feel about it.
Jun 3, 2024