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This past weekend, my girlfriend and I went upstate for some time away from the city. Hudson, is widely known as the Brooklyn of Upstate and it lived up to that moniker. It was startling how fun of a town it is. I had never been Upstate, except that one time I went to Buffalo to hang with Westside Gunn, and I had an eerie feeling: what if it wasn't fun? But, it was. Our AirBNB was dope, and it was good to get away.
We went to an Antique store, and it ruled. So many cool old time American stuff in that place that you never see anymore because everyone wants to be disgustingly modern. There was a Victorian, The Favourite style bed with a roof over the bed and it was perfect; an old typewriter, and a wheelchair that a polio patient would have done.
There was a bookstore and a bar, called Spotty Dog Books and Ale. Sarah and I sipped on our ciders while I read a biography on John Lewis and she read another book. This is something that New York might have, but definitely needs to promote more. It was heaven on earth in that bookstore.
We also went to Cafe Mutton, which was on the New York Times list of best restaurants of 2022. The scenery is great, and the food was tasty; it shocked me how many former NYC residents had moved up to Hudson and were enjoying a meal at Cafe Mutton.
I love New York -- it was the greatest city in the world at one point -- but Hudson reminded me why they are things that need to change in the city. I'm too young, much too young, but I did not think a move upstate was out of the question. It is a great town. Check it out!
@jayson
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move to the only city where you can find a job in the field you studied, move into the least expensive apartment you can find that fits you and your three friends uncomfortably, each participate in the city’s economy by getting a job, frequent the neighborhood stores, use public places, meet people new and old to the neighborhood. Talk to your grandpa, who moved out of Brooklyn 50 years ago, of all the good things about the place where he grew up. His dad was an immigrant, he was a native, your dad was a visitor, you’re a transplant, but maybe your future kid will be a native New Yorker.
Your friend who grew up in the east village points to a corner where his favorite restaurant has closed. Points to a bodega covered in flowers, says it used to have bulletproof glass and a turnstile in the doorway. From a pier on the east river, next to the newly built soccer courts swarming with kids, you can see clear across the skyline to the reflective towers of Hudson Yards, Billionaires Row, that shitty glass Jenga building, all kind of hovering over the place like empty storm clouds.
You used to hang art for rich people in those rooms, and you hated it. You've been here longer than some of these buildings, briefer than more. Now, in a two apartment house, you live above your landlord in the place her son and grandson used to live. She didn’t raise the rent last year. Crown Heights used to be called something different. I heard Wall Street was named after the barricade settlers built to keep Native Americans out. Fuck, the west village used to be cool?
At the cafe, owned by a guy who grew up here, you drink whatever kind of beverage you like because he really doesn’t care, as long as you pay for it.
Jun 6, 2025
I was listening to this song the first time I visited New York City. My roommate and I had met some people online - a gay couple about 20 years our senior - and asked if we could stay with them for a week. They accepted and they gave us a key while they were spending a few days in Fire Island. So much trust between strangers. We just came and went as we pleased from their Astoria home.
While we were there, we met up with a friend of ours, Karen, who was working at Vimeo for the summer at an apartment with a bunch of Vimeo staff. Karen and I held hands under a blanket while we all watched Rushmore. Karen introduced me to some great bands, most notably The Microphones. I had a crush on Karen and Karen loved dinosaurs.
While we were in NYC, we also bought dinner for Riese and Alex of Autostraddle. My roommate had wanted to interview them for an (unrealized) project. I held the camera while my roommate asked them questions. They were shrouded in darkness the entire interview, but I was too anxious to say anything.
I have so many stories of that single trip to NYC — some good, some bad, all memorable.
Jun 6, 2025
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here’s my misc thoughts lol i’m no expert but this is from my POV as someone who’s lived here full time a bit and grew up visiting all the time. firstly, you’re def right that it is expensive — nearly impossible to relocate to if you don’t have a job secured and aren’t rich. even moreso if you have never visited or have only done one super tourist-y visit--it’s not just Times Square and Statue of Liberty (love her tho) rainbows and butterflies vibes lol.
like i seriously do not recommend moving here if you haven’t been to other boroughs, and neighborhoods outside of Midtown, SoHo, FiDi, UES etc. i’ve never been to england so can’t speak to it bit you might find it helpful to look online for comparisons to cities you’ve spent more time in - london and other cities in europe perhaps. consider if NYC would be that much more exciting or “better” for you?
also there’s a huge issue of influencers and people who wanna live here impulsively for fun that has driven up rent and driven out lifetime residents, esp working class folks and people of color. (lots of writing out there on the difference between moving to any city vs gentrifying one, and what one can do to not be complicit in the latter). and, my family is from here and i have always loved the city; i did get a job here after graduation but i really wouldn’t have moved here if i hadn’t.
so definitely come here intentionally, and arrive with a willingness to engage with your community! sometimes new residents who aren’t as acquainted with the “real” new york and can’t afford apts in the more gentrified or historically wealthy areas (most of manhattan, some parts of brooklyn) have a misconception of the city, so they end up feeling awkward or “unsafe” where they live, and thus don’t give back to their neighborhood. it’s veryyy weird that some people move here only to go to work, eat out and party on the weekends. (not saying this is you ofc! but just a general note).
the irony is that NYers get a bad rep for the mind your own business culture and realness--and yeah NYers aren’t “nice”, but people are kind. folks care about and actively help out their neighbors. i saw this in my own fam growing up! and as sinatra himself once said: “if i can make it here, i’ll make it anywhere.” it is a tough place to “make it” for people without roots. but i’d never deny that new york, for many of us, lives up to its reputation as the so-called greatest city in the world ;)
Aug 30, 2024
Top Recs from @jayson
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I'm often accused of being an "old soul", a categorization I vehemently dislike because it pretends as if my taste is because of nostalgia, as opposed to what is actually cool and compelling. (If something cool comes out now, I enjoy it, but we're in a down period when it comes to culture). But, something old about me, is that I do not care at all about TikTok ending, if does happen. If Elon takes it over from the Chinese, you might as well leave anyway, but I'm just worried at why this is a huge deal for people. It's just an app. Another one will be made. TikTok is not culture, it directly flattens culture into these ten second clips that take music, movies --- things that you need to process --- into something that is now consumed by everyone at a rapid pace, not allowing for the nuances, the style, the aesthetics to sit with us.
I have never watched something on TikTok and thought that this is something in that pushing American culture to deeper heights. I am sorry. Now I am sure they're good stuff on the app, but it's not really a necessity. Whenever I hear the words "it's blowing up on TikTok", my mind immediately growls.
I understood why X becoming overrun with Elon bots and right wingers is a big deal; X actually created things, made careers, made American life, and American events available to be seen by everyone. However, TikTok is a corrupt fantasy, chopping at the wires that make physical connection important.
Read a book! Go to the movies! Go to the restaurant of a cuisine that is unheralded, go to a baseball game. Who cares about TikTok?
@jayson
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Like almost every morning, I make a big ol breakfast salad for myself. Eggs, greens, onions, tuna, spanich, olives. I never taste anything as filling as this. It's perfect. Great if you are looking for a big breakfast to hold you down during your work day. Get yourself a salad spinner; makes it easier.
@jayson
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There's something quite startling about Martin Scorsese's 1980's period compared to the rest of his decades as one of America's greatest filmmakers. In the 80's, he was weird, strange, and making weirdly manic films that feel more New York than even some of his movies about the mob. They're movies about characters who aren't glamarous people that they want to be, but rather, are losers who can't seem to correctly fucntion in normal society. They're non-violent sociopaths. I saw The King of Comedy at Metrograph recently, and it's exhilarating, hilarious, manic, and scary. With Jerry Lewis, Bobby De Niro and Sandra Bernhard, Scorsese was able to create a world where incels who are bad at comedy are wishing for fame. Sound familiar?
This is a great movie. In 1983, it was a box office flop. But in 2025, it is magical in how it's telling the future. A future of scam artists who don't want to work to get there, and don't want to sit in their mediocrity: they want to steal to get their fifteen seconds. Go watch this masterpiece.
@jayson
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