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if the sun rose on the west
i would've had the courage to become what i was meant to be
but the sun never fails to rise on the east
and so the tides continue to flood my shore, full of big dreams
i float and blame everything
because failure paralyzes me more than discomfort could ever greet me good morning
Mar 1, 2025
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i used to chase rainbows
walk a few blocks maybe
then turn around cause i always knew it was fruitless
now i do the same for sunsets
try to stay up for sunrises
i never succeeded but i always look back
i keep swinging and dreaming of the sun rise i never saw
all i have is the orange horizon that never finishes its downfall
i close my eyes and listen to the cicadas
i take a deep breath and ask god to change
but i open my eyes and the sun isn't set
hours after it was supposed to
my legs are tired but i wish to swing
my head hurts but i can breath
the car lights blind me and i hope they don't think of me
the bright fluorescent lights highlight my growing roots
not blonde but not entirely brown
dull and indecisive
so the next day, I walked further, I tried to see the sun for a better angle since I once again missed the rise
I seem to have walked quite too far, so the sky was blank, covered by trees and high skylines so I go back and turn around feeling the cars go by me almost hitting me each time, and I immediately regret that I didn't walk even further to see what was beyond the bend, maybe the trees would clear away and i’d finally see the set from a perfect angle
I hope one day I'd find myself back to a tall mountain Ridge where I could see the fall and theoretically the rise all by myself and nothing else in mind
but i didnt take advantage when i did have that perfect spot
Mar 30, 2025
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i toss and i turn with the pillow staying put,
welcoming a new wave of anxiety with each movement
2:18 on the clock and the fan adds more momentum to my unattainable thoughts
buried in the need to see, and learn the unknown
yet, i lay on the surface as a parched rock in the middle of my favorite beach,
reeking of the current simplicities of life
though its surely a blessing in disguise which i might recall five years from now
standing by, holding onto my innocence, waiting to believe in a miracle or see a comet pass by in the dark night sky
Mar 1, 2025
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there is something figuratively beautiful about the things we know and don’t know, the sublime and mundane
and when you visit the beach, do you ever think about if the animals who live in the embrace of the depths remember the beauty of the ocean?
where the salt envelops every single one of us,
accepting us as kin
letting her wind tousle our raw, visceral edges
and pepper them with her sea-foamed kisses
which tell me that it’s okay to pretend
and okay to tell the ocean all of myself
the ocean reaches out to me, hands cloaked in the sharp coolness of water and something else- something i don’t understand
as I poke around in a tide pool, like a vendor at a bustling market, observing the wares that the ocean has to offer
and i turn around and ask her, do the barnacles see themselves? do anemones understand their own beauty, fragile and ephemeral?
i don’t think they do.
but the ocean doesn’t have any words for me, instead shutting my mouth with a shhhh
as her sandy dress rustles down the shore, laced with white foam and gossamer trails of ripples
and wordlessly, tells me to look
and i do.
until the sun hurriedly retreats from the wispy radiance of the moon, enrobed in puffy clouds
and it's just the three of us.
the moon tugs at the ocean’s hand, dancing to their own secret rhythm,
letting me see them in their love.
personally, i think it’s beautiful \\ and i wish i had something like it
and the ocean laughs. nothing jeering or ridiculing, simply an acknowledgement that i understand.
everything around me falls,
like petals cast off from a chrysanthemum.
and then, we were wordless
like the ocean had never spoken in the first place.
i want to descend into the depths of the ocean one day,
to be hugged once more and never again.
not because i am tired of being alive,
but frankly within me exists too much zeal to live.
uncontrollable surges of wow i am alive in flesh, blood through my veins, and thoughts in my head
become more addictive than any form of fentanyl, cocaine, heroin
and better than any gateway into a better life
or a better existence, transcending normality
and the moment it’s just me in my head, without the viscous energy of being alive
suddenly drains me like a leaking bucket,
decrepit and dry.
i want to burn like a torch, setting my world alight into embers,
into flames,
into an inferno.
Sunrise:: being alight || with a halo of only thoughts and dreams || and the divinity of something new
3d ago
Top Recs from @macar0ni2
it's quite rare for me to feel confident in my art and confident in posting it online, but i do a lot of this abstract stuff ;)
if u wanna see more head over to my art account on ig: r0nis__c0rner
Jan 18, 2025
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no one talks about the unannounced death of a version of you when you move countries. sometimes i can’t control the grief i have for the 8 year old me and the wish to have stayed with her a little longer. having to move is surely a blessing as it opens space for new experiences and people to enter your life. however, when you're a child, everything moves fast and there's little time to reflect because of all the naivety and constant learning. you don't understand the consequences of not spending enough time with your grandmother or how convenient it was to make or even keep friends.
it's one thing to move before you gain consciousness. it's another thing to move when you do gain consciousness, but don't exactly know what's going on.
maybe this isn't about moving. maybe this is about growing up or maybe it's about both.
Jan 16, 2025
Feb 11, 2025