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Understand why you can’T let go.

Do you feel like there were missed opportunities? Why? - How to deal: Internalize that life is a series of random events with outcomes you have minimal control over. You have control over how you cope with those outcomes. You have control over what situations you put yourself in to create better random events. - Books: The Art of Possibility by Benjamin Zander You feel overwhelmed or hopeless about current events? You want to go back to “better times.” - How to deal: There’s no such thing as “better times,” just times where we were less bombarded by an endless news cycle. Sensationalism sells - replace fast bites with documentaries and books. - Books: Same as Ever by Morgan Housel; Enlightenment Now by Steven Pinker You feel anxious about your current situation? You want to go back to “better times.” - How to deal: Stop doomscrolling social media. Stop looking at what others have with envy - they made their own sacrifices that you probably don’t want to make. They’re likely living outside their means. There’s no such thing as “too late,” you’re just as capable now at starting from scratch as you were when you first started the journey you’re currently on. You feel anxious about an unknown future? - How to deal: The best way to shape this future and remove the “unknown” is reflecting on what YOUR personal priorities are, having an honest conversation about what goals do or don’t fit with those priorities and value, setting realistic goals, and putting together a plan that breaks your goals into steps that you can form habits around. Progress is better than perfection. Stop and appreciate what you have on the way to achieving your goals. - Books: Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman

@ohpandadear

Dec 25, 2024

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ADVICE FROM A CHRONICALLY SHY GUY

I’ve been chronically socially anxious for most of my adult life, struggled to really break out of a shell and only had inner confidence amongst people who engaged with me initially. and trust me, the hardest part will always be the first step, because you’re almost programmed to think of those branching paths of “what if this happens?” My main advice is to let those paths exist, but immediately throw them away, even the ones that look positive. because your brain will always take these ideas you come up with in your head and try to twist them, make you poke holes in them until they seem unappealing, or even worse, make them feel like they could end in disaster. the more you dwell on uncertainty, the more you’ll forget why you wanted to do something in the first place. and my other bit of advice is, if you feel it, lock it in. if you want something to happen, say you will do it, and just keep it there. don’t even think about what it could lead to, just say “I want to do x, so I will do x”. from there, nothing can hurt you, you can’t hurt yourself, and even if it goes kaput, you can say “I did x.” finally, maybe a slightly dumber bit of advice, is pick a song to listen to before doing something you would normally back out of, like it’s a hypeman. mine is “champagne coast” by blood orange, mainly because it makes me feel like a Main Character wishing for the best!

@joshuavidual

Apr 27, 2025

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Wondering…

What’s the voice that’s impatient? Is it YOU? Or maybe a younger you? Or maybe a caregiver? Or maybe an embodiment of cultural standards? What does the wiser part of you look like? Is it YOU? Is it a character? Human or animal? Or PLANT?! Or PLANET?! Sometimes, we need to allow the feelings and thoughts fully out. Sometimes we need to identify where they come from. Sometimes we need to comfort them with the wiser side of us. Sometimes we need the wiser side of us to tell it to fuck off. Sometimes we don’t need to do all that. All the time though, we need to remember that nothing is forever. We take action where we can. We go step by step, moment by moment. We give space for enjoyment of things. We give ourselves lots of love and grace, and allow ourselves to daydream of a future where things look different.

@mossyelfie

Sep 24, 2024

Top Recs from @alvinrow

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Letting other people go first in line

Not on a rush

@alvinrow

Mar 29, 2025

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An artist I always like to recommend is Molly Drake (Nick Drake's mom) who wrote some incredibly unique music, all home recorded in the 60s. I like to say it sounds like Mary Poppins on anti-depressants. Then maybe Tucker Zimmerman? Singersongeriter active since the 60s who just released a new album made in collaboration with Big Thief. If you wanna try recent things, I find Allegra Krieger and Naima Bock two awesome singer songwriters

@alvinrow

Jan 10, 2025

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Alvin Row intro

Hello sweet peeps, i'm sharing plenty of nerdy music analysis and music tips on a new channel

@alvinrow

Jan 22, 2024