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Tbh these methods also apply to real life, but I think anytime we're confronted with something that elicits strong emotions, it's important to slow down and ask:
1. "Is this deliberate ignorance, or just casual incompetence?" (bigotry = automatic no tolerance)
2. "Is the person on the other side able to engage in discussion in good faith?"
3. "Am I able to talk to them and extend good faith?"
If #1 is deliberate ignorance, then tread carefully. If it's casual incompetence, and #2 or #3 is a "no", then you shouldn't engage at all because no one will be heard & no bridges are built. And of course, if it's bigotry then block/report/ensure proper consequences are had so they don't have a space to spread hateful speech & ideologies.
Be mindful on the internet & make sure to make your words & presence count.
Apr 1, 2025
Related Recs
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any time i see dumb, anger-inducing discourse on my twitter tl I just immediately wave it off and tell myself they are trolling, even if they very well are not. no need to engage with idiotic people even internally.
Mar 19, 2024
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I fully acknowledge my privilege this recommendation. I have the privilege to be able to build bridges because, though I am able to be dismissed because I'm a femme-presenting woman, I am much less viscerally threatened in general because I am white.
That being said, I feel like I have turned a new leaf in that I largely refuse to contribute to in-fighting discussions. In my mind, we are all in a race against the 1% but they have tricked us into thinking we are in a race with each other. I have decided to let go of the race. I have decided that whether they fear, pity, hate, whatever me, I'm going to value "the opposition" as people and when they are able to figure out who we should be actually fighting, I will be there happy to provide resources and supplies that I have in the aid of this goal. Until then, I'll be around.
The isolation that has been bred since long before I was born has just destroyed a sense of community, something that I yearn so much for. I know that people do things that bring me harm. For instance, I still take many COVID precautions and am part of two COVID safe communities. However, I know that the large majority of the population no longer cares and does, unwillingly or not, participate in a lack of overall health safety for me and my family, as well as their own safety. But I'm not going to isolate, I'm going to take precautions to continue to be part of community. I believe folding people in together is the only way forward.
My brother is a huge fan of Elon Musk, which is so gross and awful. I used to shut down conversations about this but I've decided to be open, honest, and present with him about this. I check Elon's behavior to him, let him know that I believe his actions are on purpose and that my brother is making nazi sympathizer choices with his thoughts and actions. I also let him know that when it's ready to fight, I want him to be on our side, which he states he would be (idk). That's all I can do. Keep communication open. Keep connection open. Make these sympathizers not fear "the others" because I am willing to participate and provide and talk.
Now, none of this means I'm willing to lay down as terrible beliefs ravage our society. I am still able to be critical of others choices and I will defend myself and my family against harm if need be. I just believe that the core of most of the harm and violence comes from the top. I believe that people are emotionally thrown for a loop when they come to a conversation with fear-based hostility and find community-based hospitality in response.
I will continue to advocate for the people who are being brutalized our community. I believe, however, that they need to hear us first. They need to see us as human, and I think part of that is showing them that we see them as human. Yes, flawed scared scapegoating humans that need to be held responsible for their actions if and when they participate in violence. I'm not talking about conceding or finding "common ground" in our beliefs beyond the basic humans need food water shelter (and love if they're about that). I may acknowledge their fear, the influences that they have been under, and the things surround their hate. I will try to come at it at as loving as a place as I can, always reminding myself that they were once babies shaped to view the world as this big scary thing filled with monsters, taught by the actual monsters who want to control everything.
Again, I'm only recommending this if you have the energy to do so. I think a lot of people have tried for years and then get burned out. I get that, I think getting stronger within your own community would help grow the ability to then reach outside and communicate. At the same time, my friend and I were talking about how some people are just "front of house" and some are "back of house" and the front of house people can be the ones interacting with society and the back of house can build the inside. We don't all have to do everything, let's find out strengths and build on those to get through, and maybe even past, the shit show we find ourselves living in today.
Jan 31, 2025
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I’ve been working on trying to resist internet pile-ons, and not in a contarian for contrarian’s sake way. I think it’s more interesting to find out what’s actually happening and search for context and perspective. There’s usually a lot more to each story and it leads to more interesting ideas and conversations. Allowing for more empathy and forgiveness toward others also ultimately leads to more grace for yourself when you make a mistake. Sometimes people are jerks and sometimes people say the wrong thing and sometimes people run with something without understanding what someone is actually saying. I’m resolving to look for nuance first before assuming the worst.
Mar 20, 2024
Top Recs from @gemfound
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It shows a long life and the many smiles you've given and experienced!! It's a permanent remembrance of happiness and I think that's beautiful!!
Mar 14, 2025
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My steps:
1. Shut my phone down, hide it in my room, and lock the door so it's a pain in the ass to get to.
2. Be bored, and sit in the boredom for like 7-10 minutes (MINIMUM)-- once you're bored see what your brain gravitates to beyond The Screen (is it doodling? is it playing guitar? is it writing?)
3. Find the little thing your brain latches on to, and start doing it! Even if it's something goofy like "Just Dance youtube videos" to dance to LOL this is you, deliberately following your brain's natural curiosity & interest
And then rinse and repeat however you like <3 Once you get accustomed to the smaller, more gratifying feel good activities, social media starts to feel too overwhelming to even pick back up again-- you'll be reaching for it less and less
(a final aside: I am of the major belief that creativity & imagination is critical to creating a better reality to live in, because it shows that you're capable of leaning into what "doesn't exist", and are courageous enough to imagine and build a reality that defies the status quo. but that's just me LOL)
Jun 10, 2025
Jun 3, 2025