I kept a balance on my credit card for years and it weighed on me. Waves of financial anxiety. Even the relatively small amount I had on it felt like a ball and chain. Set yourself free. Pay off your debts and build a savings account, if you are able. It doesn’t need to be $10,000. Work toward $1,000 even. Save enough for that next big emergency or expense. That way you’re not reliant on credit when life happens.
Apr 12, 2025

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last year i got super serious about paying off a 5k debt i accrued, and the two things that actually helped me to achieve this, was to prioritize that over all debt repayments i had and cut my physical credit card. I got a new one but i rarely touch it and only use it now for emergencies and things I really know i can pay off quick.
Apr 13, 2025
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Wow I want to open one still. It’s because I go into the negative a lot but then I pay it like the next day. I am very broke sometimes
Apr 12, 2025
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@LOREN And I still have/use credit cards. I use them for most of my purchases. I just pay them off every paycheck. So, there are still good uses for them including building a credit score. It’s the recurring balance and interest that will bite you.
Apr 12, 2025

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My husband and I were both unemployed for a few months last year AND had to move so we ended up putting a lot of our moving and living expenses on a credit card before we got our new jobs. I have FINALLY paid that off and feel like such a weight has been taken off of me. I do not make a lot of money but I am a huge advocate of financial literacy and budgeting. I know we live in a broken arbitrary hellscape system (sorry folks this is US specific) that is quite literally created for and by the benefit of the most monied classes but it is an unfortunate truth that the best way to start to navigate and possibly even benefit from that system is to learn about it. The people “hacking” credit cards (points for free flights, hotels, etc) are already financially stable and responsible, for people with less money or who are paycheck-to-paycheck it is one of the most predatory systems and is a massive disgusting wealth redistribution from the lowest classes to the wealthy classes and banks. The reason they have these points and rewards systems that can be so beneficial is because the majority of people do not benefit from it in any way, they are going further into debt and paying interest. For a larger balance, it can take you literal decades to pay off with only the minimum payments. This system is set up to entrap poor people and make them poor forever. To fight the system, you must learn it. Do everything in your power to get out of and avoid bad debt. If you do want to use credit cards for points and rewards, do it with intention and NEVER carry a balance. People make a big deal about credit and often want a CC so they can build credit, but if you are not thinking of purchasing a home or a new car (the car industry is another evil ploy to impoverish the already poor and saddle them with tens of thousands of dollars of debt on an endlessly depreciating asset, literally never buy a new car, always go used) you don’t need to give a fuck about your credit, you need to stay out of debt! There are other tools to build credit, debit cards that can be used to build a credit history, etc. I would like to go through the rest of my life without another interest charge because it feels like a sad, twisted tax on poverty. If you do not NEED something, do not EVER put it on a credit card unless you are absolutely certain you will be able to pay it off. Oh and fuck klarna, after pay, etc. These are created to make money off of and to subjugate the poor. I could go on and on and on about this but I urge you to do your own research. If the financial system (credit, loans, retirement, etc) seems confusing and intimidating to you, just know it is designed to feel that way. They want you to see it all as boring, impossible, fruitless. they want you to feel disenfranchised and disempowered the moment you think about retirement savings or budgeting. now, more than ever, you should learn what exactly it is you’re up against. TL;DR: do not get a credit card without understand how they work, who benefits from that system, and how/if you even can benefit from it. Focus on avoiding debt more than building credit. Buy a used car. Try to save for retirement. Just keep trying and learning about personal finance and financial systems, even when you feel clueless and overwhelmed. You’re supposed to feel hopeless, do not give up, the wealthy elites are betting on your ignorance and dispassion and they are making billions on it.
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Seeing that they owe YOU for a change is a tiny weight lifted, even if it's like $30 in my favor.
Apr 29, 2024
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Painful….but I am one cent closer every pay period
Mar 21, 2025

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I’m not a parent and do not plan to be. Kids can wear me out fast with their high energy and noise level; it leaves me very over-stimulated. But it’s pretty extreme when people say they ”hate kids” and I often feel it’s a reflection of their childhood and beliefs around how kids “should be.” That they were expected to be quiet, obedient, and out of the way by their parents when they were little. It’s fucking hard to be a kid. You’re dealing with a rapidly-changing body and underdeveloped brain, managed by flawed adults who are enforcing boundaries that you do not understand. It’s confusing and hard to manage your feelings and honestly just a lot. People are impatient with kids when they‘re brand new to the world and figuring it all out, and this is a time kids need a friend the most. Children can also be teachers to adults with how they are less habituated to the world. They teach us how to be free and open-hearted and silly and imaginative. A good practice is to be kinder and gentler with kids. If that feels difficult, start with gentleness toward your inner child. Maybe that’s the child in your life that needs your attention and kindness most.
Apr 16, 2025
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I meant to post this yesterday. Absolutely beautiful morning for walk. This morning is also beautiful but in a spring rain kind of way.
Mar 23, 2025
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Prescriptive gender is a prison. Rather than gender being a form of self-expression, gender is treated as a pass/fail test for how well you can conform to cultural expectations. Since I was young, I remember feeling a great deal of pressure to conform to these expectations around what “men” are meant to be. You like sports, cars, womanizing, aggression, and not having feelings. I felt so distant from this ideal. I was sensitive and shy, and I preferred spending my time being creative in some way For a long time, I felt like I was failing at “being a man.” In many ways I was! Because I didn’t need to bea man. All I needed to be was myself. It’s taken me a long time to separate myself from prescriptive gender, sharpening in on which aspects of masculine energy I identify with and which I don’t. I’m not done yet. Maybe I will never fully be. The self continues to evolve over time, and I suspect aspects of my gender will too.
Mar 15, 2025