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When I get off an 8 hour shift after waking up at 4:30 and start rethinking everything I said and feeling like everyone hates me I remember I literally don’t know what I’m talking about and am in no condition to weigh in on such things
May 4, 2025

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I love being a barista because it is so fun to not pay for coffee and taste horrifying extractions and bizarre customer creations (extra sweet caramel single shot breve iced) and take home what we can’t sell to customers. Behold the darkness of week old cold brew concentrate! A true depth of darkness only understood in certain light, black as midnight on a moonless night! Yum yum can’t wait have it with breakfast and feel each blood vessel moving through every artery!
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I don’t know if this applies to everyone as we seem to be peak hustle culture to survive the gig economy but I have a lot of free time, so much free time it’s overwhelming, that I pander in all sorts of unhelpful ways. Just saw something about someone who makes exquisite jewelry in their free time, it not being their day job, and am having a long hard think about how tired I really am when I claim to be too tired to work on the thing I claim to want to do…I also think about kids my age getting married and who may start having kids in the next few years (aside from the ones who already have) and how much of a time drain that is and how some day I’ll probably look back on this point and think I was swimming in time. Would probably help to start on the phone addiction first…Sometimes I think it’s possible I’m not as tired as I am, like focusing on how tired I am, trying to measure exactly how heavy my bones feel, only amplifies my tiredness into perceived exhaustion and maybe if I didn’t think about it so much it wouldn’t be as real as I let it, like the cold in winter.
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