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i bit into my overnight oats the other day and was catapulted back to the fall of my senior year of college.
if i had closed my eyes, i would’ve found myself in my Chicago sunroom, waiting for Hailey to finish making her pesto eggs.
i felt overwhelming nostalgia and a general sense that (oh!) things do turn out ok.
it was awesome.
i felt like the critic from ratatouille.
May 12, 2025
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i think i like the taste of the peach yerba mate so much because it reminds me of my peach ice puff bar from 9th grade. the cycle repeats. i can't drink the mint ones anymore, i've exhausted that taste. i miss home as much as ever. i feel very sentimental at this time of day (6:30ish,,, sunset). the light reminds me of home. it reminds me of you.
looking back on this is comedic in a sense haha! anyways .
Apr 5, 2025
lived within 15 minutes of an ikea most of my life, and as a result, all my childhood memories are clustered and organized in my mind like ikea showrooms. ikea meatballs (recently, and scandalously, revealed to be of turkish — not swedish — origin, something we always knew since the company my dad worked for back then produced them) with jam always tasted like home. crying in the back of the car because my parents forgot me at the småland play area and drove home — and even though they came back 30 minutes later, i was too hurt to forgive them right away. falling asleep on one of the beds in the perfectly curated little girl bedrooms and my dad having to carry me into the shopping cart. running around until i was out of breath in the self-service furniture section. begging for ice cream at checkout. me and my mom only getting one soda to share because there were free refills and we were poor.
i drove to an ikea for an hour for the first time as an adult in the u.s. recently and held back tears the entire time because of the mind-numbing nostalgia. i was all grown up, but the meatballs tasted exactly the same. in true proustian fashion, i realized that my nostalgia — and the longing i attach to these memories — is somewhat synthetic, because there is no pain in the past. the pain is here, in the present, because none of my people are in this ikea with me anymore. and i am trying to hold onto what i’ve already lost simply by virtue of time passing.
nevertheless, it is important to eat the ikea meatballs even when you’re all alone. not just because they’re delicious, but because the power of involuntary memory — conjured through the simple cause and effect of a scent or a taste — has a profound effect on the body and the soul, though fleeting by nature, dulled over time by the desensitization of the senses. but for now, that brief moment of euphoria — the way the ikea meatballs effortlessly transport me back to my childhood — is worth a thousand trips to ikea.
3d ago
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There are times when I remember things from years ago and I feel as if I am remembering someone else's life.
Mar 7, 2025
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Jun 2, 2025
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nothing like it
Feb 24, 2024
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even if shit continues to hit the fan, pretty much everyone ends up exactly where they’re supposed to be. you will find a place to live, a job, a lover, friends, etc. just keep going and it will be ok.
Jul 17, 2024