❤️
we have gotten to the stage of talking about very TMI things casually and not feeling embarrassed. what a time 😂
but it looks like im getting a job offer soon and once again our schedules won’t line up so well. next week is possibly my last week unemployed and we‘re going strawberry picking.
May 18, 2025
Related Recs
♥️
i had a conversation with my current squeeze about vday plans and i was incredibly nervous.
we aren’t “official”, however both of us have not engaged in any other stuff with other people since we met.
even in this situation, and from past experiences i didn't want to impose so much on him, and create an expectation that we needed to celebrate since we aren’t technically a couple. also he has a weird work schedule and fridays is his day to prepare for long shifts during the weekend.
i told him we can do something the day before, but that i would like to celebrate the morning of vday with him before i get to work and he goes back home. luckily he agreed to it.
this is to say, im willing to wait a bit longer. but i am curious how long he will wait. he got out of a long term relationship a month before we met. i want to give him some time. but i am kinda on a clock as well. despite that, i am still having great times with him 💗
also, i feel uncomfortable saying “boyfriend“, so im using other terms like “flame”, “squeeze”, “paramour”, etc. and honestly i like that better than the other stuff 😂
Feb 1, 2025
This is the photo that I stare at longingly as we talk on the phone. I miss him terribly right now.
We met outside of a funny little bar (Avant-Garde in Ottawa) during a break in sets where everyone was smoking outside. I actually came to see his friend’s band but he and his friends were absolutely tearing up the dance floor. I decided to go up and talk to the cute ginger boy (lover boy, Cam) and the goofy guy from the band (Noah) and they told me about a DJ set Noah was doing the next Friday. Cam never got my number so I had to go, obviously. He finally got my instagram (make better choices, ask for their number) that night and I dmed him and asked what he was doing the next day - he was going to read on his balcony. I’d learn later that this man is a very avid reader (love). I asked to join and that was our first date! He’s the first person to ever cook for me, and he even set me up on a chair and with a baguette with olive oil and balsamic vinegar. We dated for the rest of the summer, about two months, then I went back to school in a different city and we parted ways.
He thought we’d never talk again but I hit him up whenever I came back to town and even asked if he’d like to spend a couple of days cooped up when I was back on winter break. He said yes and we drank wine and watched good movies and ate grapefruits. That weekend together brought us really close.
I wasn’t in Ottawa the next summer but I did spend two weeks completely alone in Kakabeka Falls between forestry contracts in Northern Ontario. Those weeks I called him most days for hours despite us not having really talked in months.
Then I came back to Ottawa for an internship this September. I’ve always been really weird about relationships, so I told him I just wanted to be friends. So we were, but also we would *platonically* share the twin bed I had at the time when it was late and I didn’t want him to spend exorbitant amounts of money getting home.
He actually told me he wanted to be with me in October, but I was scared and said he wasn’t what I wanted. We stayed friends.
December 21st I wanted to go see my favourite local band (Baby Richman) back at Avant-Garde. They have a super psychadelic sound and one of my roommates gave me shrooms to take. I was supposed to go with my other roommate, but she cancelled last minute. Not wanting to lightly trip alone in public, I invited Cam. The night was great, but when the music ended I didn’t want to stay out. I wanted to lie in my soft bed, feel my soft cotton pyjamas, and look up at my twinkly lights. Lying on my bed with Cam, we talked for hours. I cried at how beautifully he described his family’s Christmas traditions. That night I realized just how much I want to be an integral part of his life. We were a year and a half in the making.
He is wonderful. He’s funny, incredibly smart, and inspires me to improve every day. He also always stuck around, despite many efforts to push something so good away. I am so lucky to be reunited with him in July.
May 26, 2025
💌
talked to a girl for a couple weeks, but things don’t seem to be in the cards for us. just enough time to get to know all of the good stuff and none of the bad. i’m so sad and so torn and just miss her and the pursuit of love. play our minecraft seed to keep the flame alive -4663702808580626784
1d ago
Top Recs from @chiawase_
idk how i came across this in my daily wikipedia surfs, but something about this painting just amuses me so much.
my first impression was this looks fairly modern in a way, possibly because of the composition and how she made her features so light and bouncy. it oddly made me think of disney when i looked for longer. then i see it was made in 1909 😂
this painting can transcend times and i wouldn’t truly know when it was made unless i looked more closely at the objects around the subject. but even that can be a stretch as vintage items can be popular amongst anyone and they can just have their vanity setup look like this.
i tried looking for photographs of her online but alas nothing came up with certainty.
Apr 27, 2025
i saw something on here a day ago about how fireflies are disappearing and lightly catastrophized the scenario. but then as i regulated myself i looked up an article lightly extinguishing my concerns.
so as i look at the copious little flickers out my window, ill be glad to tell you that while firefly populations are decreasing, some firefly species are adapting to new environments trying to prosper and evolve. big causes for their decline are obvi climate change, urbanization, and light pollution. a simple way for you to not make things bad for the fireflies in your area is to not use pesticides on your lawns if you have them. they spend most of their lives in the ground so it starts at the soil.
additionally, every article i see with the salacious title about “last generation to see fireflies“ seems to be blocking out a lot of things about current firefly populations. most of the fireflies on the IUCN red list they keep mentioning are marked vulnerable or least concern. so there is a possibility a species or more of fireflies may disappear, but all of them i don’t think so.
1d ago
Feb 10, 2025