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my anxiety has been eating me alive recently. it’s like i need to overthink or worry about the most minor thing ever. it’s been like this forever, and it’s a little bit self-consuming. i know this happens to everyone, but sometimes i wonder why do i need to feel things more than the rest of people. like everything is harder for me than to others. swallowing the feelings, letting them live, making them happen. i want them to flow naturally from me, but they get engraved in every step of the way before they out. and my focus at the moment is to try and have peace on my mind. sometimes, i need to close my eyes, breathe in, and remind myself that everything will be alright. there’s always a way to go through feelings. and i miss when i got to enjoy the little things like interactions and happy moments, but maybe that just means that i love and can enjoy those things of life. does that make sense?
i wish to all a peaceful time, and we’ll flow through the harsh feelings in some way! i like to remind myself that there’s still so much love to give from me. i just have to breathe.
Jun 11, 2025
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Feelings are visitors- they come, we meet with them, they go.
Maybe a feeling is a guest for a while. Maybe we leave it in our inner home while we work, or play, knowing it’s there waiting. Then we meet with it again when we’re able.
It’s a delicate balance- on one end, stifling our feelings. The other, gripping onto them tightly to the point where we’re suffering. Ideally, we feel it to the point where there’s a natural emptying feeling.
I used to cling so tightly to my sadness, anger, grief. I wouldn’t let myself feel moments of joy, because I felt that would somehow take away from it. But when we are feeling those feelings so intensely, it’s actually imperative that we make space for Joy. Peace. Gratitude.
Sometimes we can’t do that- I don’t want to not acknowledge the very real experience of depression. I’m rather speaking to the many of us that are probably feeling a lot of hard feelings since the election. Make space for the things that feed your soul. Come back to what is right in front of you- the breeze on your skin, the falling of leaves, the creatures you love. Not all is lost. There is so much to fight for.
Nov 13, 2024
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...and reminding myself that everyone dies, as a way of refocussing - life is short, and everything ends so let's resolve it while we are all still here. Also taking a walk, cycling and listening to music helps reduce my anxiety.
Jul 20, 2024
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there’s something strange about the headAche that follows a good cry. it lingers. an aching reminder that the tEars were real. that the sadness was deep. the thrObbing in my temPles feels like a weight. but also a strange clarity. when everything seems blurred and raw. the mind is sharp in a way it’s neVer been before. it’s as though the heart and tHe mind have found a rhythm together. a rhythm that only comes with the quiet aftermath of pain.
it’s during this vulnerability - when tHe world feels heavy and silent that creativity flows best. when sadness wears away the surface - the soul has space to create without barriers. there’s honesty in it, a kind of bruTal truth that can only emerge from the deepest emotions. the ache. thouGh painful. clears the path for something new to emErge. it’s almost as if the sorrow is the soil for growth, and from it, idEas sprout and twist.
but i kNow that this isn’t forever. the headache will fade, and with it, the weight of tears. what once felt overWhelming will soften. moments are just the prelude to something better. the clouds will break. there will be space for the light to return.
Feb 22, 2025
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kinda need to take a moment to disconnect myself from the rhythm of heavy emotions that i’ve been feeling. everything feels like a burden and i just want to move onward. i wanna be free and wild like i expect myself to be, but being who i am, it comes with other side effects. i think too much. more than i wish i did. i just want to be able to do and feel everything without thinking i might be too much. those that make sense?????
1d ago
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i’ve never been in love before. liking boys feels sooo strange. i knew it left me in this deep misunderstanding of what love should feel like. now that i think (think!!) i’m falling in love, there’s all these other questions in my head. and i’ve been a fan of coming-of-age films and books for forever, because to me, i think i was trying to fill that void in my soul of wanting to be loved. now, things are all around, rumors were spread, and i just want him and i to be okay, as friends. first, i think comes the friendship. maybe it will turn into love. in my head, i think i hope deeply, but for now… friendship.
Jun 3, 2025