i love to reminisce and miss things about my past. i think its a good thing. it means my life was exciting. i think it also keeps those memories alive and present. better than forgetting and losing memories to the abyss. it also keeps me accountable. i want myself in 5 years to reminisce on my current life so i cant just lie around and do nothing.

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I like nostalgia, I like to feel like I miss a memory or feeling. I like to think that in some future I will feel what my mind remembers again. I like to feel nostalgic about scenarios that haven't even happened but are there, waiting to happen.
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I love stuff and i love hanging onto things. I love that i have a stack of letters my friends and i wrote and passed back and forth in class at 13 years old. I love that i still have the fake menu my best friend and i made when we were 8 for our fake restaurant that only served bug-based dishes. I love that i have a drunk love note scrawled on toilet paper at 3 in the morning in 2012. seemingly meaningless things like this from my past help remind me that I’ve actually led a wonderfully full life despite often feeling like I’ve not done enough.
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It's a rec and anti rec at the same time. Just saw an insta profile recommended to me of my best friend from middle school. Seeing her very happy even though we don't talk anymore since I moved makes me happy for her somehow. Though I'm mad at myself for not living through her life steps, since we're not friends anymore. I miss her and our friendship. I'm moving back, but I don't think we'll go back to being friends again. So I'll just remember the fun time we had.
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