Whenever I feel screen-bad and I know I want to do something else I do like a buffer activity to give myself time to decide what the ultimate goal is. Its helpful for me if it’s something that involves water so my phone can’t come with me and I’m really resetting my day, like doing the dishes or taking a shower. Things I like to do once I’ve amped up to it:
-Tinker, found some free frames on the street and spent the afternoon painting and fixing them with whatever I had around.
-Fancy errands like going to specialty shops (bakery, butcher, wine shop) then dinner becomes the project with whatever you’ve scrounged.
-Be a member of something, it will guilt you into going (pool, museum, local movie theater)
-just do one thing, there’s so much multi tasking asked of us and our attention, just doing one thing feels great sometimes (just eating, just drinking a hot bev, just listening to an album all the way through, just doing the dishes- I think I love doing the dishes?)
I 100% feel where you’re coming from and often struggle in the same way!
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the work-eat-scroll-sleep-repeat pattern had me in a chokehold for ~3 years after I graduated from college, realized that a large part of the reason I struggled to break the cycle was because I’d want to “rest” after work but eventually do something enriching in the evenings, but didn’t actually have an idea of what I wanted to do so the lift to get off [app] was less willpower and more decision paralysis; the friction of figuring out what to do was what was keeping me in the cycle ~90% of the time.
what has worked for me:
1. going outside immediately after work (especially if working from home) to run an errand or go to a book or record or coffee shop
2. keeping a list of projects i want to / am currently working on or skills i want to develop and making progress on those
3. reading a book
4. (most effective) taking a class (writing, pottery, filmmaking for me) and either going to the sessions or doing the assignments
but also sometimes you literally just wanna rot and that’s cool too!
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i tried a couple different ways to structure my time:
1. daily timeblocking (3*/10): setting 5-6 to wind down; 6-7 for dinner; 7-9 for enrichment; etc… didn’t work at all for me. too structured.
2. theming days: (5*/10): mondays are for reading; tuesdays writing; etc… worked slightly better but sometimes you wanna do a different thing than the theme, introduces decision paralysis of whether to power through to build routine or to follow your instincts and have max fun
3. big list: (7*/10): here are all my projects (and subtasks) or hobbies or chores or errands i want to do; i give them a number score of how urgently i want to do them, then do the one i want to do most thats higher priority. bonus points if at the start of the week or month, you put some activities on a calendar for specific days even randomly to just have a schedule when you don’t have something you’re particularly called to do so that’s your default activity and not scrolling. works the best*!
(*for me)
Jan 16, 2025
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1. 15 minutes of cleaning, organizing, something task oriented that feels productive and you can SEE. after that timer goes off you’re DONE! Good work.
2. next, it’s outside time. Maybe you walk to get a treat, find a flower, see a nice building, smile at a stranger. This can be a quick trip if you need it to, or find a podcast or album to listen to on a longer walk.
3. Food that makes you feel good nutritionally and food that makes you feel good emotionally. Chocolate cake and an apple. carrots and hummus and twizzlers. Indiana food! Get both.
4. Guilt free SCHEDULED relaxing Of any kind- bed rot, tv time, video games, whatever. its Your job to do it.
This basic formula helps me.
Apr 10, 2024
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I realized I started feeling really disconnected from myself when everything became routine and I was trying to do only what needed to be done. It's the little things that really help you come back to yourself. When it's 10 pm and you want a cherry soda, just go for a little walk and get one. That movie you wanted to see but don't know who to go with, just go yourself. That new place you wanna try. The little stickers that you haven't used yet. Just realizing what you like and what brings you joy and even what doesn't.
Also when I started feeling this way I pulled up some random internet list of 365 questions to ask yourself or journal about and now I try to write a couple lines to a question when I'm waiting on the kettle to boil or on the bus or something. The direction of having questions to reflect on helps me. Sometimes I end up on a tangent but it still helps me pull together memories and ideas.
May 11, 2025
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an older couple came in for dinner and totally stiffed me on the tip which was disappointing but shitty tips and math mistakes happen on occasion, so though I was disapointed because I thought we were vibing, I entered the bad tip and got on with it. they came back as soon as we opened the next day with an envelope with $10 and this note. I love that they went above and beyond even for a small mistake like this, I wouldn’t have remembered in like a week but the universe tracks on this stuff yknow.
Apr 15, 2025
Apr 30, 2025
and in the year of our lord 2025? a delightful pastiche
Apr 20, 2025