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reconsidering friendships as you get older
I just don't think all friends are forever. I used to think every friend was worth investing in and fighting for to keep around for as long as possible, but it's becoming clear to me that it isn't always the case. Sometimes life situations change, or personalities change, or even the things you had in common with someone changes, and suddenly it's not the same. And that's okay. Other times it's the realization of self-growth and improvement that shifts you from friendships. I had one friend that I used to love to...well, gossip with. And at some point that desire to gossip dissipated from my life (for obvious reasons) and that friendship didn't seem that attractive anymore since it wasn't what I wanted to do. I remember when we felt the drift happen, it was so awkward for a bit but I genuinely feel like whenever we connected it would just become...toxic. And it wasn't like they made me worse; we both made each other worse. The idea of 'I have to leave them, they are bringing me down' is BS - it's a two way street buddy. They made me want to gossip / I made them want to gossip. You have to own your part in it. IDK! I just think at 30, there are people I though I'd be close to today that I am not close to at all and although I might miss them, I fully understand that I'm better and healthier and more sane because of that distance. IDK. I'm caffeinated rn. And in my feels. And Bon Iver isn't making it better!!!
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@marianoleonczik
Sep 25, 2024
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@afrorory
Wholesome thoughts. People grow and move in different directions at different rates. My best friends are the ones where we can pick up after not seeing each other for years like it was yesterday‘s after work drink. I think it’s ok to have fleeting friendships that held meaning if it means at that point your spirits were mutually elevated.
Sep 25, 2024
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@florinegrassenhopper
The other day I had drinks with a friend I haven't seen in a while and I was shocked by the way it felt just like the first summer we met, like we hadn’t really changed in the intervening years. Then I was talking to another friend from the same period & I realized that everytime we talk I feel like I’m meeting the newer, fresher, more informed version of her. Both types of friendships are great and I love both of those pals, but at this point I’m trying to talk about our lives and not what we’ve watched in the last week. I really want to feel the character growth and it feels so intimate and rewarding to be let into that as it happens.
Sep 25, 2024
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Not feeling guilt about drifting apart
I’ve had sprinkles of acquaintances and light friendships with people over the years that I sometimes feel bad about losing touch with. But sometimes it’s nearly impossible to keep in touch with everyone and still have time to care for yourself and your core people. I’ve tried to stop apologizing for that and just try to let people know I appreciate them from afar. I feel like the older I get the more intentional I have to be with my time and the more healthy boundaries I need to keep. It may disappoint some, but true friends get it, and there will always be an ebb and a flow as life changes. I also feel like social media has wired us to be so hyper-connected all the time and it’s stressful to live up to the expectation of staying in constant communication with everyone you’ve met and liked. Growing up is realizing you can like and enjoy the company of many people and you may not have the time or energy to extend to everyone you want. (And actually it’s also okay not to want to!) Not everything and every connection can stay the same and I need to constantly remind myself of that. I deserve to make space and time for myself so I can love my people better.
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@linfo
Mar 4, 2025
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friendship breakups
Despite being the person who pushes people away, I always have a good enough reason. I so strongly believe your circle defines who you are before it was packaged as a self love affirmation. It seemed very obvious as a concept. Anyways, I had a huge group of friends and cut of all but 2 because of a silly fight which had nothing to do with me since I've always believed in quality over quantity. But this decision proved to be so wrong when the two who are dating btw, became druggies and really shitty friends. So much so that my mom warned me about them. I have now opened my eyes and really understood the depth of how much I blindly trusted them and how they fucked my life over. Maybe they meant it, maybe they didn't but I am so not gonna stick around to find out. I am a leaver. Bye bye bitch. I just can't believe I let it get to this point. Sorta disappointed how I am not as adult as I thought I was.
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@beadaboobie
Apr 20, 2025
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BEING OKAY WITH GETTING DISTANT FROM THE PEOPLE YOU USED TO SPEND ALL YOUR TIME WITH
im getting older and things are happening in my life that have shifted my priorities, and because of that i feel more detached from some of the friends that have been the closest to me for years on end. i dont have a problem with any of them specifically, i think this is just the natural progression of things. i had trouble confronting this at first, but accepting that growth also comes with certain sacrifices or loss is just a part of the process.
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@2seaters
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I feel like there’s a special connectivity on this app that I haven’t felt in a long time, maybe since early 2010’s tumblr. The fact that you can’t promote yourself like IG is wonderful. The fact that there isn’t mass video content like Tik Tok is great. It’s not this monetized / paid sponsorship app. People are here because they want to be a part of something with nothing to gain besides friendship. Seeing the URL -> IRL meetups warms my heart so much (waiting for an NYC or Brooklyn meetup). Thanks for your participation on this niche little app. I smile reading all the recs and all the comments and all the asks. Hope we’ll all be here for a long time.
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florinegrassenhopper riotgrrrl brendanooooo slowdazzle buck_mcgraw and indianjones — we did it. Not only did we successfully meet for drinks, but we also schemed the hostile takeover of this app from tyler tonight. In all seriousness — weird that an app I downloaded in April would make genuinely want to drive back into Brooklyn during end of day traffic for a happy hour. Great app filled with great people.
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@marianoleonczik
Jul 20, 2024
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Just appreciating your pi.fyi feed
I think a life rule for me is to surround myself with people who know more / are smarter / are cooler than me and just absorb their aura by listening / observing them. It’s made me the incredibly smart / cool person you all know and love. I just never thought I’d feel the same way about URL friends. I’m constantly listening to the songs I see posted here, reading the articles, subbing to newsletters, and googling topics that get tossed onto the feed. It’s nice to know you can become a more rounded person by just absorbing what your mutuals post on here. I’m going to sit on my couch, have a cocktail and digest my lovely feed. Happy Sunday!
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@marianoleonczik
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