idk if this will be helpful to you, but if you want to move on from someone who is not giving you what you need, you kinda have to decide that you want more for yourself than what this person is willing to give you. if they're able to give you more doesn't matter btw. someone can be completely in love with you and it kinda doesn't matter if you don't feel it. what i'm saying is even if they're just super busy or too shy to initiate seeing each other in person, the notion of them being interested and struggling to show it is less important than how their actions actually come across to you. you don't want to have to figure out how they feel anyway, do you?
Apr 27, 2025
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this!!! i was in a seven year long relationship with the person i thought i would be with forever. we were so in love with each other but in the end neither of us could give each other what the other needed, without changing core parts of who we were as people. for the last two years of the relationship we tried so so hard to make it all work but in the end there were compromises we each had to make that made us both feel unloved for who we were.
my younger self really could have used this advice but ya live and learn! my partner now really is the more that i needed and this mindset is something that helps me stay grounded in my own security. i really resonate with this, thanks for sharing <3
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iâve spent most of my life searching for romantic love and thinking something was wrong with me because i never got it. i prayed even though iâm not religious, i had a box filled with manifestations of the âperfectâ guy under my pillow, i tried to go after guys i knew were meh because i thought u could make the love blossom, i did honey jar spells, i changed the way i looked, the way i spoke, my interests, i did EVERYTHING. this all resulted in a slew of horrendous situationships that tore down my self-esteem. after these, i definitely worked on myself and became much more confident and sure of myself, but still thought that a relationship would be the thing to make me truly happy. at 20, i had my first real boyfriend and he was âperfectâ, or at least everything i thought i had ever wanted. he was attractive, tried to pay for everything, planned the most thoughtful dates, went out of his way to see me, was incredibly intelligent, kind, loyal, hardworking, took care of me when i was sick, and even respected the fact that iâm entirely celibate (like what 20 y/o guy is ok w that??). i ended up breaking up with him after a few months because i realized that a relationship was not what i actually wanted or needed, it was just what i thought about 24/7. not saying this is you, but the steps i took after our breakup might help with your situation. diversify and expand your sources of happiness/love as no one source will make you feel truly fulfilled. i started by doing 4 things: something that expanded my mind, something that earned me money, something that fulfilled me creatively, and something that fed me spiritually. for me this was college classes, a job at a restaurant, painting, hanging out with the people that i love more often, and joining a bunch of clubs at my school. i think our society places so much emphasis on romantic love, but other types, especially the love i receive from my friends has been the most unconditional and satiating. lastly, (again not saying this is you, itâs just a common reality) expecting one person to satisfy all of your need for love is not only dangerous for you (if they leave, youâll be crushed) but also unfair to them. maybe iâm just yapping to yap, but i hope this was helpful.
Jan 1, 2025
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my ex, who i dated for a year and thought was the loml, the person i was going to move in with and get married to and adopt a lot of cats with told me that they had "mentally" moved on 6 months before they broke up with me. and my first thought what was our relationship? what were we doing? how did i not realise or see the signs and i felt really stupid. tbh i'm still processing this. but, i think it was on them to lmk and not for me to figure out. also i saw this pin on pinterest that said something like "what do i do when i'm always the one who loves more?" "congratulate yourself." you can't measure love but i think you deserve to be w/ someone who appreciates and values you just as much as you appreciate and value them. someone who puts in as much effort as you are putting in. the most important thing is to never question your worth. ik this must be so hard to deal with but you will get through this <3
Jan 11, 2025
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had times where me and the other person werenât really in each otherâs lives before dating so there wasnât an existing shared community or anything to keep us in proximity to each other. kinda just follow those folks lightly on socials now but donât really keep in touch. net zero not the worst.
had one time where the romantic relationship really didnât work out, just lack of compatibility and not being what the other person needed, but the emotional connection and proximity/availability kept us both coming back to each other to maintain the relationship platonically. kind of resulted in a messy situation where boundaries were unclear and that just lead to more hurt and confusion than had we dealt with being apart and feeling alone in the moment and then come back together as friends after letting time pass. ultimately ended up cutting that person out of my life entirely after moving away and realizing in retrospect that I had allowed this person to violate a lot of my personal boundaries for the sake of feeling like I had someone I could confide in, and that they were taking advantage of me being a pushover to feel wanted/not alone.
all this to say, ask yourself: what is it that this person brings to your life outside of what comes exclusively from the romantic aspect of the relationship? if this person was simply available to you to spend time together, seek company from existing friends, or find a new community to be a part of. if this person was a close confidant and understood you in a way you felt seen by, maybe practice more vulnerability with your current friends/family/whoever and ask yourself what it is that makes you feel seen/appreciated in those relationships? seek that out! in the immediate aftermath of a breakup, itâs going to seem like there is no one else that can take the space that person is leaving. but that doesnât have to be the case, and investing in the non-romantic relationships you already have can address the valid needs that you have and strengthen your existing connections. romantic love is important, but other forms of love are just as fulfilling and crucial to your thriving! maybe with time you will come to notice that this person had something you value nonromantically and hopefully yâall can find a new place for each other in your lives, and that can be very rewarding! or maybe you will realize this person met certain unaddressed needs in the moment that you can find in other relationships. donât feel the need to keep em around if thatâs the case.
Mar 12, 2024
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specifically his "what could possibly go wrong" album. i come back to it every spring. the japanese house's music is also great spring music too :)
Apr 27, 2025
you found a tape marked "20 june 1994" while going through your parents' collection one quiet summer night. this is the first song on it.
Mar 27, 2025
1. company lot by noel miller (kinda like doomscrolling through the tech world but in a funny way. would not play around your parents or coworkers lol)
2. tiny meat gang (used to be with two cohosts, but one is a creep so he's off and it's noel miller hosting interviews, news guy bits, etc. pretty versatile ever since cody ko left. the older episodes with cody are funny too, but i personally don't want to watch them anymore. also would not play around your parents or coworkers)
3. beersos (two hs best friends talk about unhinged shit every episode. also also would not play around anyone tbh)
4. welcome to nightvale (it's a radio show for a fictional town called nightvale. has some fire lines. is overall kooky and odd. often eerie)
anyway, here's a screengrab from the first few seconds of the first episode of company lot
Oct 1, 2024