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You have one life to live and it goes by quickly. Don’t spend it trying to make your parents comfortable with the things that fulfill you. They’ve lived different lives, in a different time, and they are not you.
I get it can be difficult to resist at times. The choice to not have kids was one of those for me, knowing I’m an only child and my mom wanted to be a grandma very badly. I still haven’t told her I got a vasectomy after the fall of Roe, and I probably won’t — since it’s my body and not hers.
Just remember that this is your life, not theirs. Happiness is a precious thing, even in the best of circumstances, so don’t cheat yourself out of a single moment’s happiness just because you’re not sure your parents would approve or make the same choices.
Jun 5, 2025
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Honestly my whole life I been by myself, and you might wonder what I mean by that? jajaaj welp, let me tell you a story about me.
i struggled early on life due to my father addictions and violent personality, my mother passed away early on too and I gactually got to live with her until 6-7. After that, all I knew was loneliess, I have a brother but he was very brotherly I would say, because we got a long sometimes and sometimes we don't.
apart from this i got a stepmother, which had child-like personality so we got a long just like kids. she is a very nice person and struggled a lot by my father sides. we all struggled by his side a lot as he is also a narcisistic. everything had to be about him and so on.
i say i been alone, because with my surrondings i was always separeted from the people that truly cared for me and the people that were around didn't really see me, because of this i always had to deal with my emotions by myself and became a very quiet kid. it was awful to put up with shit and always blame it on myself, because that's what everybody is saying.
growing up with very emotionally distant people, always leave you the lonely scar. this is why i always wanted to have friends, but in a weird way jajjaja i was very awkward too and violent. i did a lot of things to impress people or to like them, things like putting down other people, or doing silly things in front of everybody.
all of this has resulted in me needing therapy (and graduating!) and needing people to approve of me. honestly, i can't pin point the thoughts i had when the need to impress taked over me as they were like the usual.
i feel like i been rambling around my loneliness, but that also felt like context. i am now a very different person honestly, but the sadness of not fitting in my family (because i moved out on my own and stopped talking to the rotten ones in my family) and seeing everybody else talking about their mothers and fathers, makes me feel so bad. like i understand that we musn't look to the other persons plate, but when you do and see how empty yours is, is difficult to not go crazy.
i crash out from time to time and i allow myself to do so, becuase is fucking hard. i live on my own by my own means in this ECONOMY, so that just mades everything worse. i hate to see people with parents that actually lookout for them, like no matter what they do they parents will always be there to support them. i hate happy families, and the thing my little self always says in the back when i see this is "why not me?"
2d ago
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As an independent, intelligent, and amazing adult person, you obviously don't need your parents to be parenting you in the same way they did when you were a kid. But you are back in their home, expressing some form of dependence on them, so there have to be trade-offs and compromises. You're gonna have to swallow your pride and choose what hills to die on.
There are going to be spaces and instances where you need to firmly and respectfully draw and keep healthy boundaries. Mistreatment or toxic words pointed at you are unacceptable. But there are also times where you are grating against each other due to reasons of personal preference or personality—and those become opportunities for you to extend grace, see the other with empathy, and become a more mature and patient person. This is good practice for future roommates, partners, etc.
It may also be helpful to have a clarifying conversation with them, lay out expectations: "We are all living under the same roof again? What are your expectations for how that will look? (And here's what I'm hoping for.)"
Nov 11, 2024
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ask yourself these questions: Why are you unable to live a fulfilling life without a relationship? Do you not have hobbies, friendships, purpose in your life as it is?
I say this as someone who's been single for three years: Thank God I don't have to share a bed with someone else, Thank God I can have the weekly alone time I need to recover my sanity, Thank God I don't have to negotiate or justify anything with anyone else.
Feb 27, 2025
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I’m not a parent and do not plan to be. Kids can wear me out fast with their high energy and noise level; it leaves me very over-stimulated. But it’s pretty extreme when people say they ”hate kids” and I often feel it’s a reflection of their childhood and beliefs around how kids “should be.” That they were expected to be quiet, obedient, and out of the way by their parents when they were little.
It’s fucking hard to be a kid. You’re dealing with a rapidly-changing body and underdeveloped brain, managed by flawed adults who are enforcing boundaries that you do not understand. It’s confusing and hard to manage your feelings and honestly just a lot.
People are impatient with kids when they‘re brand new to the world and figuring it all out, and this is a time kids need a friend the most. Children can also be teachers to adults with how they are less habituated to the world. They teach us how to be free and open-hearted and silly and imaginative.
A good practice is to be kinder and gentler with kids. If that feels difficult, start with gentleness toward your inner child. Maybe that’s the child in your life that needs your attention and kindness most.
Apr 16, 2025
May 6, 2025
I meant to post this yesterday. Absolutely beautiful morning for walk.
This morning is also beautiful but in a spring rain kind of way.
Mar 23, 2025