Related Recs

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Reconnect with dormant/new parts of yourself

The most challenging part of breakups for me is rebuilding the infrastructure of your own life. Reconnect with the things you used to do before you started dating someone—(they might feel different and you might find they no longer work the way they used to, this is normal and okay) and find new things that help re-light the curiosity of your own life. We know so much less than we *think we do about what we might like/who we are, and breakups offer the perfect time to collect a little pile of ways/things/friends that help you feel more in touch with what you love and who you are. Gonna feel uncomfortable and weird but that means it’s working. Sending you love ❤️

@sophia

Mar 16, 2024

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hORRIBLE TRUTHS ABOUT THE FIRST TEENAGE BREAK UP

Well dear, this type of break up is honestly probably the worst of them. No one knows how to act the first time at anything. But the basics to survive it... I'd say there are three main things you need to know (as the 23 year old college student older sister of three, ages 18, 15 and 11) 1. Be a friend for yourself: Honestly, love? Sometimes the worst thing to do is try to ask other people your age what to do. Because A: People tend to have radical ideas and feelings about love and break ups that sometimes aren't really in line with who you are but feel like the right line of thought because, it's your friends, you trust them, but that doesn't mean they're less prone to give you bad advice. And B: When it comes to human emotions, the crushing amount of complexity it has makes it impossible for someone else's answers to your problems to be the right answer for you too, you can listen and take from their experience what you feel is valuable. But, how to be a friend to yourself? Well, all of those feelings you want to resolve and share with your friends, tell yourself about them first. I mean it, take the time, sit down, write it down, everything, and after you're done, pretend it is a letter you received from a friend. And really put yourself in the role, write an answer back, as if you're giving advice to someone else, be critical and be thoughtful. This is a simple way to take the emotions out so you can find logical solutions that align with who you are and what you believe in. Want to text them? Post a picture with someone else to call for their attention? Jump into a new relationship right away? Stop a second, think it through and don't do anything you would judge a homegirl for doing. You'll teach yourself a standard of self-respect and save yourself from unbearable amounts of shame and embarrassment in the future. 2. It can’t be an excuse: If it is really the kind of break up that makes you feel utterly miserable, I understand, It is alright, work? college? school? that can be taken slowly, you’re a human being and work is not all that matters, it is not worth your mental health (Just make sure you talk it out with work partners, team members, some teachers who you feel you can trust and maybe can be empathetic towards you. Don’t ghost anyone, there's a right way of doing things and a minimum level of responsibility you must show). Let yourself feel with all your heart, but it can NEVER be an excuse to not brush your teeth, wash your body, get sunlight or fresh air. Don’t refuse to feel better. There is a long list of studies that show that you will feel better if you feel clean, full and warm. Get a bath in the tub, do skincare with your homegirls, watch a movie, do an everything shower, paint your nails or brush your hair. You have enough on your shoulder with the heaviness of your emotions, you don’t need to deal with poor health and hygiene too. 3. Don’t romanticize it: Here you have a huge opportunity to sit down with yourself and recognize guilts and responsibilities, just as much as you do of admitting to yourself that maybe you were done wrong too. The opportunity to keep on building that self respect standard and set limits to yourself. Ask yourself what was the point where you should’ve stepped back? did you stay? why? What would you like to do differently next time? Did you hurt the other person? How could you have handled it better? How was the communication? Was this person showing the kind of affection/ attention you needed? If not, why stay? did this person knew you needed or wanted what you wanted?. Ask yourself any possible question and please don’t pretend to remember only the good things, cause I promise you that doing that is the rabbit hole of pattern repeating. Actually? close the cycle, in case you haven’t done it yet, write down everything you found while answering yourself those questions, everything you left unsaid, whether it be “I’m sorry” or “I deserve an apology, even if I might never receive it, I know I deserve it” and sent it to that person, not for them but for you, to give yourself closing, say goodbye. close the door (when you feel ready love, but if it’s been years and still not ready, it is time to push yourself to do it). And finally, know that it will pass. I promise that to you. 

@maria-is-wolf

Apr 27, 2025

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I’m one year out from a big break up and i’ve never been more ‘me’

There is a lot of really good advice and input in the other responses, but I just wanted to let you know that about a year ago I broke up and stopped talking to the person I was dating for over 8 years. I didn’t realize how much I didn’t know about myself. In that time I’ve picked up a few art classes, fitness classes, and some of those I hated. Every time I was sad that I wanted to do [insert any thing or activity] but I didn’t have someone to do it with, I would go do it alone. This time last year was really hard. I had to drag my ass out of my apartment on long walks. podcasts were my best friends, because my real people friends would be busy some times and that’s okay! yeah I did watch all of love island. Alllll of it. I remember thinking “do I exist if I don’t have a person to tell xyz to??” Like yes girl ofc you do!!!! Right now I feel like my life and my heart are so full And happy and Light!!! Putting myself first and finding out what I like has been amazing and I’m so excited to hear about how You’re doing with it all.

@lyssdri

Jun 18, 2024

Top Recs from @jilly

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stop!! look at my frog!!

@jilly

Feb 19, 2025

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accepting that you’re not trendy and cool

tried reading dante alighieri’s inferno. key emphasis on tried. i got bored and realised a story written in poem form is not my typa beat. i tried because it seemed like what all the indie hipsters who are well versed would read, and that i would look cool and niche—but it just cost me $25. i prefer crazy detailed paragraphs rather than a line by line story. anyways

@jilly

Feb 17, 2025

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stop saying “i’m sick”!!

saying “i’m sick” when you’re sick is boring. instead, here are some more funky fresh and cool ways to disclose that your immune system has been highjacked (it’s time to revive these sayings from the dead!): “i am indisposed” “i am taken ill” “i am feeling out of sorts” “i am suffering from a bilious attack” “i have been seized by an ague” “i am afflicted with a malaise” “i have taken to my bed” “the vapours have overcome me” “i have a touch of the influenza” “the rheumatism plagues me” “i am laid low with a fever” “i am afflicted with a troublesome ailment” you’re welcome

@jilly

Feb 18, 2025