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i have grown tiresome of restaurant dates with friends. the breeding ground for shallow conversations are high as intimate thoughts are left in a deep drought. cameras are clicked in hope of catching the perfect angle for a meal and a few drinks.
bringing back picnic dates would call for intimate and interactive conversations and moments with friends and family.
Feb 7, 2025
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Feb 8, 2024
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Eating at a restaurant is a terrible way to meet someone for the first time with the object of romantic involvement. It’s awkward, formal, no matter what there’s going to be weirdness spoken or otherwise about the check, it’s not interactive, your joke reserves dry up, the format requires both parties to learn either too much or too little about a person too quickly. Eating a full restaurant meal loads you up with fatigue and slows your rhythm, gums up your jouissance. Etc.
Better this: assuming you live in a city, meet at a park, walk around, go in stores and galleries intermittently, talk whilst you interact with the world, it’s life affirming, it’s not stupidly pointlessly expensive, and it feels like youre sharing an adventure, it just naturally loosens a person up to be more open, allowing you mutually to get to know each other’s “energy” or whatever much better.
I think I’ve been on exactly one first hang-out first date that happened at a dinner restaurant for dinner — only one that went any further than losing $100 in a night, and it was thanks largely to getting partially sloshed beforehand that I managed it well. Other than that, it’s always been some organic thing that just happened.
Oh also: don’t start the date in an art museum. Are you insane? First hangout ever and you want to go to a place with an atmosphere of stilted reverence where at best you have to whisper banter, and even then you don’t know each other well enough to know how much making fun of things is going to endear or repel, etc. Same with a movie date although if you’ve had any good text or phone interactions, there’s always the old “my leg is on your leg now” gamble. Last and only time I started a first date that way we left as soon as we realized that (1) some Almodovar movies are boring as fuck and this was one of them and (2) we were more interested in touching each other than watching the painfully overwrought characters in the silent venue touch each other on screen.
Picnics are acceptable and encouraged too. Have fun and be safe!
4d ago
A restaurant around the corner from us started doing private dinners, and with my wife’s 30th birthday happening I asked to see what the process would be like. We packed 14 of our closest friends into this gorgeous, tiny little refurbished car garage filled with flowers and wine and Italian music and proceeded to have one of the best five course meals of my life. Moments like last night sort of get you in a “maybe this is what life is all about” moods. There’s an artist I like that said all of life’s essence & purpose can be found in the sound of wine glasses clinging together at a table filled with good friends and good food. I think that nights like last night cement those sentiments as truth.
Aug 3, 2024
Top Recs from @Onyi_Budds
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During my quest of personal expression I have found a unique and meaningful way to be more comfortable with the sound of my voice and that is by reading out loud. At first it was weird and awkward to read to the four walls or prying ears but as time went on, I began to allow for my voice to take up space and to fill those anxious gaps inside of me.
PS:
I read out loud in the privacy of my home 😭 not out in public spaces.
Jan 19, 2025
with the rise of social media, it can be so easy to get sucked and pulled into someone else’s aesthetic or outlook.
i have found inspiration from going within and seeing what i genuinely like when it comes to art, fashion, interior design and so much more. the results were shocking but it comes to show how much i really am a maximalist at heart :)
what are some of your favourite interior design styles?
Feb 8, 2025
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The beauty of documenting your life experiences through your speech and embracing how your voice sounds in that very moment is something I find so special.
Our voices are instruments, what use are they if we don’t take delight in the sound of the very thing that forms meaningful connections.
Voice journalling has made me so much more confident in my speech, how I sound, public speaking and expressing myself to those around me. It has helped me to be more interactive during conversations with friends, family and strangers. It has opened up the gate for meaningful friendships and closed the gate for social anxiety.
I usually go back and listen to the growth of my voice and the small depletions of the insecurity and anxiety of my speech. It’s also a great way for me to document my thoughts when journalling through writing gets overwhelming.
Have any of you all tried voice journalling?
Jan 16, 2025