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CANDOR is SPLENDOR. Reject the categories of based and cringe + say exactly the thing that you feel from the gut and heart before you erode those things
Irony is great at the service of jokes and wild pastiche. But don’t let it be a stumbling block. Shoot your shot, be embarrassed, be open like a snow angel and trust the True + Good
Apr 22, 2025
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Related Recs
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Conscious or subconscious, to:
1. Use your wit/intelligence/insight
2. Communicate your values/conviction
3. Engage in collective activity/be in an in-group
4. Vent!
None of these in the appropriate degree or circumstance are bad things. But, unfortunately snark also is counterproductive to having vulnerable conversations with people. And therein lies the rub: most people do really want that, but because diving in to the lion’s den with your fuzzy lambswool on is a wild move, it’s easier to put on your lion-skin and go snark mode. People would likely be more fulfilled participating in spaces where they can be sincere and mutually respectful. But often they either don’t know where to look, or they’re entrenched with the band-aid validation they’re getting from their snark zones.
May 8, 2024
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Remember that, smart alecks!
Some more of my core guiding principles around this idea:
Truth and fact are two sides of the same coin.
They are interconnected but not interchangeable.
On a similar note:
Truth is complex and often paradoxical.
If you think you can lay it out in black and white terms, sorry bud – you don’t have a handle on it. The capacity to hold space for seemingly conflicting ideas is essential. That means letting go of the idea that your truth is the truth.
Critique something/someone only from a place of understanding
^ did a whole rec on this. To add to it: if you spend a lot of time criticizing those who you disagree with, whose benefit is it for? Mainly it’s a signifier to those who you do agree with that you’re part of the same in-group. That’s fine and it has its place, but constructively challenging the views and behaviors of those within your own community (including yourself!) is much more valuable.
And on that note:
Understanding ≠ condoning
Most people skip the work of trying to truly understand because they’re afraid they’ll seem complicit. Say someone commits a violent crime. Trying to understand the familial, socioeconomic, and systemic circumstances that factored in – developing empathy for this person – does not mean you condone the behavior or that you care any less for the victim of their crime. You are not doing any good to the cause of peace of justice or whatever you claim to stand for by refusing to understand people (however fucked up and misguided they may be).
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Ok that’s long enough, maybe I’ll drop some fun ones in another post lol bye
Jul 17, 2024
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Don’t fall for that Ad populum mess just cause the crowd’s loud don’t mean they right.
People be hyping nonsense like it’s gospel , stay smart, not trendy.
Apr 19, 2025
Top Recs from @odradek
This shit is worlds cooler than anything Data for Progress does, no offense to DC homies tryna do the good work for that goofy org
Apr 22, 2025
Sometimes theres an implicit stank put on my city; on the East Coast there’s a kind of New York Supremacy. People think of Baltimore as a failed state backwater, a curiosity at best. It can be tough living here sometimes, to be sure. But Bmore has, however, easily the most vibrant, exciting, original, diverse and ambitious music and art scene of any small city in the East and from what I can tell, in the entirety of the country. At any rate, this breakout hit from Tate Kobang is quintessential Baltimore popular art. The style of minimalism with hard pulsing snare claps and the parsimonious use of sampled groove bits (which, that’s all Bmore Club style, distinctly), obviously the lyrics too and the settings of the video which tell a story without telling a story, it’s genuinely one of my favorite hip-hop songs, and you gotta watch the video.
Apr 24, 2025
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Eating at a restaurant is a terrible way to meet someone for the first time with the object of romantic involvement. It’s awkward, formal, no matter what there’s going to be weirdness spoken or otherwise about the check, it’s not interactive, your joke reserves dry up, the format requires both parties to learn either too much or too little about a person too quickly. Eating a full restaurant meal loads you up with fatigue and slows your rhythm, gums up your jouissance. Etc.
Better this: assuming you live in a city, meet at a park, walk around, go in stores and galleries intermittently, talk whilst you interact with the world, it’s life affirming, it’s not stupidly pointlessly expensive, and it feels like youre sharing an adventure, it just naturally loosens a person up to be more open, allowing you mutually to get to know each other’s “energy” or whatever much better.
I think I’ve been on exactly one first hang-out first date that happened at a dinner restaurant for dinner — only one that went any further than losing $100 in a night, and it was thanks largely to getting partially sloshed beforehand that I managed it well. Other than that, it’s always been some organic thing that just happened.
Oh also: don’t start the date in an art museum. Are you insane? First hangout ever and you want to go to a place with an atmosphere of stilted reverence where at best you have to whisper banter, and even then you don’t know each other well enough to know how much making fun of things is going to endear or repel, etc. Same with a movie date although if you’ve had any good text or phone interactions, there’s always the old “my leg is on your leg now” gamble. Last and only time I started a first date that way we left as soon as we realized that (1) some Almodovar movies are boring as fuck and this was one of them and (2) we were more interested in touching each other than watching the painfully overwrought characters in the silent venue touch each other on screen.
Picnics are acceptable and encouraged too. Have fun and be safe!
4d ago